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( kicks down angela's door but like the metaphorical one because fearne knows better (source needed) and would love not to get punched by gebura actually, )

where are we meeting up again
lotsa markets for pie stuff but i think the biggest one i found was in district 2?

Edited (i don't know what day it is. ) 2023-11-05 21:11 (UTC)

( thanks she would not want fearne to get punched by gebura (yet) either.

the one in district 2... hmmm. yes, she knows it. )

Then we'll go there. Are you excited for your reward?

( since she said she'd give fearne's then too )

i think i should be rewarded EXTRA hard for not guessing, asking, or stealing it actually

( this is what the prime employee looks like, yeah. )

( pfft. )

I'll think about it.
See you soon.

( she'll be waiting for fearne, dressed for the weather which is (checks calendar) rainy, so she's in a fluffy white coat, a black turtleneck and matching black skirt, and a yellow ducky rain poncho. leave her alone--

but she will be there!! patient, a bag in her hands. is she nervously wringing the handles? no, that's your imagination. )

yup! be right there.

( splish splash weather.. waow...

fearne, for her part, can't wear cute little rain boots for the occasion, but this obstacle stops her none in kicking every puddle she sees on the way anyway.

there's no snow yet, so fearne is still in one of her standard affair dresses, layered and frilly, and all lighter fabrics despite the chill. not that much of that can be seen at the moment since a thicker cloak sits on her shoulders - like ones adventurers might use - just to keep most of the rain off. )

Angela!

( first things first. the librarian is going to get dragged inside to keep out of the elements.

then she shakes her head and ears out like a wet dog. )

Were you waiting long?

( ugh-- at least she has a poncho she is sort of protected. small blessings. )

Not really. ( ....okay, okay, before she chickens out-- she holds the bag out. ) Here. Your reward.

( rewards, actually, because she overthought this. the first is a clumsily handwoven flower crown; it was her best out of several attempts, after many days of practice. the second is a brooch not unlike her or the librarians' own, in iridescent opal.

a color none of them have. hokma's is quartz he can deal. )

...I felt one was too on the nose for you, but now I don't know how much use you'll get from the other... Regardless, they're what I thought of when I thought of you.

( she perks at the mention of her prize, happily divesting her of the bag as soon as it's offered in her direction.

the quick peek in alone has her pausing, but it's not until she lifts it out to delicately place it atop her head does she find the second piece. a surprise to her more than anything, and definitely something she may or may not have thought about lifting off the inattentive librarian or two -

- but that doesn't matter for right now, she's a little teary eyed when she draws angela into a tight hug, uncaring that the poncho is likely not doing her any favors in this instance when she's already a little drenched anyway. )

Thank you.

( hope angela knows her crown isn't going to die any time soon! sometimes, nature magic is pretty nice like that. )

You're right. How did you know I was casing the others'?

( she's not sneaky.. that's how. )

( angela almost stops her— even if fearne isn't conscientious of the wet poncho, angela is, but the hug stops her. this isn't like the last hug she got from her, tight and paired with admonishing words, then an apology. it's still tight, but it's— warmer, kinder.

angela hesitates, knowing she has full use of her arms this time, knows she can return it if she wants, and wonders if she does. would that alright? is it weird if she doesn't? she's never hugged anyone before, not really. where do you place your hands? does it matter, if it's fearne? fearne probably wouldn't care, she'd probably just appreciate an affection gesture returned, but angela isn't good at that, either, and

she sighs, shoving the swirling train of thought aside as she carefully, carefully, lifts her arms to settle them loosely around fearne's waist. this should be fine. it's loose enough that she can drop them quickly, that neither of them will get stuck.

angela wishes her heartbeat would calm down now that she's figured out what to do in this situation. )

I'm an extremely observant person... and you aren't as sneaky as you think you are. ( her voice stays steady, if quiet. should she sound more gentle? no, this is fine. ) You're welcome, and thank you for everything, Fearne.

( she's done more than she thinks, for her. this isn't entirely about the bookstore. )

( and she's right! she doesn't mind either way, nuzzling cheek into whatever she can reach like an overly affectionate pup even as the poncho crinkles beneath her.

but also, she does recognize at some point that she's probably suffocating the poor woman, which means she relents at some point and finally starts working to help get the poncho off of her. it's important! and not weird probably. )

Well, I love it!

( the wet bit of outerwear is then going to get thrown over a nearby fixture, reaching now somewhere within her cloak to tug a large bow loose behind her.

a cashmere scarf, a dusty pink and soft, is pulled off of her waist to then loop it over the librarian's head. being where it was, it's likely still warm from body heat and at least dry from the rain. likely a bit of an overkill now that they're inside though, )

Hearing people say that always makes me think they're about to say goodbye. ( 'thank you for everything'.. ) So you don't have to thank me.

( ....... what if she just doesn't ask, actually. she doesn't have to know, right? )

We're looking for berries? Or have you changed your mind since?

( oh, it's warm and dry and it smells like fearne. that last part isn't important, but it's one that comes to mind as angela sinks her face further into it. it's definitely a little overkill now that they're inside, but she'll take it off when she gets too hot.

it's fine for now. )

...Yes, berries. ( she's here, she's present. ) We can pick up a few other fruits to try as well... It might be better to bake as many as possible and choose whichever one comes out the best.

( ... )

Or we could just get extra fruit so you have something to snack on instead of our berries. ( she chuckles. ) You seem like the kind of person to steal food while it's being made.

( well, she's not wrong - but it does remind her of something. )

Y'know, I don't think I've ever tried cooking with these before but..

( glancing down at herself, she pats her dress down for a moment to eventually fish out a tiny branch. twig, really, with long rounded leaves and white berries. a mistletoe. one she then holds in one hand, then flourishes with her other to reveal a small bunch of different looking berries. ten of them; yellow and shaped a little like raspberries. )

They do disappear after like a day, but I don't see why we couldn't try adding them?

( she feels like fearne's magic will never get old to her—how effortless it is, how effortless it used to be for her to do something similar. from the mundane, simply picking an item out of her many hiding places for them, to the extraordinary, the transformation of berries from one kind to another.

she's jealous for a moment, and then it disappears as quickly as white turned to yellow. )

As long as it's not going to poison him. ( she knows the properties of mistletoe... it LOOKS different but IS IT different... fearne. ) Then I don't see what the harm could be. What do they taste like?

( honestly, doubting her is the sane thing to do here. so she could really only shrug in response. )

I haven't died yet. I snack on them sometimes.

( to prove a point, she's taking one of the goodberries and popping it into her mouth before offering the rest up. it'll be sweeter more than it'll be tart, almost as if favoring the preference of their summoner.

but also, she's the kind of girl who would bite an unknown mushroom, so....... )

Not too bad, I think. I can't really make too many of these either before I get tired though, and I don't think it'll be enough to put into a few pies even then.

( hmmm. angela waits to watch what happens to fearne, and when nothing does, she takes a goodberry too. sweet isn't bad, but she almost wishes it was a little bit tarter... )

Don't wear yourself out on my behalf. We can just add a handful instead—I'm sure it'll be fine. ( certainly just a handful won't make it too sweet...? well, anyway. ) Let's find something that pairs well with them.

( ...angela holds out her hand, staring straight ahead. )

We can hold hands so you don't wander.

( a glance down at her hand, back up at her - then a soft snicker, reaching with her free hand to take it before feeding herself another berry. )

You can just say you want to hold my hand, silly.

( and tugs at her, off they go! to the first little section of the market she sees before someone takes it back because she decided to get mouthy about it. that seems pretty likely.

hmm. she's not sure if this is making what she wants to ask easier or harder, though. both, probably? )

I was going to ask for a story too, by the by.

( that reward she thinks angela might just give her if she asked, as mentioned prior. )

( fearne's instincts are keen as ever, because angela looks exactly like she wants to mouth off about it—she sighs instead as they move on, because she doesn't have to explain herself past exactly what she said. it'd seem overly defensive, and fearne might give her that look midnight did last week at the non-city halloween party— )

Digging for another reward, are we? ( but that's what she was going to ask for... ) ...What kind of story?

( while angela won't guarantee her one, she can't help it—she is, as ever, curious. )

You know me, I'll always talk my way into more.

( even if she really shouldn't, or it'd be quite the bold demand. sorry percival.

either way, she's going to grab for a basket with her free arm, because carrying all the little bits is going to be pretty interesting without. )

Yours, of course.

( said simply, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. what other story would there be that she'd need to go to angela directly? )

It doesn't have to be in a book or anything, but I don't want you to leave out anything inconvenient, either.

( it's why she bothered to ask to meet her to begin with, for a better read. she's stalling though, has been for weeks, and she does not continue rambling off for a bit, only after she's plucked some box of strawberries from where they sat. )

... Someone told me a little bit of your Library.

( her mind immediately goes to netzach, who hasn't been shy at all about spilling company secrets--but if it were him, fearne certainly would've just gotten the full story from him or mentioned him by name.

so it has to be someone else. the other librarians are out of the question--the name thing would apply to them too, because why wouldn't it? this is a deliberate obfuscation of identity, and angela tries to hope it's just someone who heard from one of her librarians instead of the ghoul that's been haunting the back of her mind since she met him in the gardens last month.

angela idly opens a little box of blueberries and pops a few into her mouth, then closes it and sets it in fearne's basket too. those will do. )

Plenty of people have heard various things about my Library thanks to certain coworkers of yours, so I'm not surprised. ( she keeps her tone even--her story, and the library? mm. ) What have you heard in particular?

( take it easy. slowly. stay calm. there's no need to ask who she heard it from--that's important, but not as important as the what. )

( hm, she supposes she could've simply asked the other librarians, but would she have been satisfied with an answer from them? likely not. it'd still feel like she's missing the pieces of context that only angela could really give her.

she's calm though, which is good? right? )

That it's gotten a lot of people killed. ( it's a careful thing, the way she says it. quiet enough that it's obvious that she'd rather no one overhear, even if she doesn't have any particular judgements about it yet. morality is a funny thing like that. orym would find issue with it, she knows, but it's with his same kind heart does she even bother pursuing answers rather than shove her questions in a box to begin with. ) That it's related to your quest for freedom.

( she's at least stopped picking through fruit for the moment, staring at the scattered few things they have in the basket. )

That you'd end up alone at the end of that road.

( angela doesn't pause in her quest for their berries, sampling the ones she can as she listens to fearne. they all begin to taste the same on her tongue though: acidic and sick, as if the bile from her churning stomach has finally started working its way up to the back of her throat. her fingers are stained with the red juice of blackberries, with the choices she's made, with the blood of— )

The Library doesn't technically kill people. ( it's just as quiet, a belated reply, as if this isn't really the important part and she's only stalling on it but it needs to be said, anyway. ) A copy is made of them when they're transformed into a book and they're placed in a stasis. I don't enjoy hurting people, Fearne.

( she doesn't enjoy hurting people. she doesn't enjoy killing people. her feelings have always been complicated but on an individual scale some people deserve to hurt the way she has, and on a group scale it's nothing she derives enjoyment from. )

However, I never had any intention on releasing them from that sleep—so you could say they might as well have been dead. Apparently, however, it's a big enough of a distinction for my librarians to have gotten angry at me for not specifying it. ( at least yesod had understood, somewhat. it wasn't important. they had to be booked. they weren't going to be released, because that would be against what they had been booked for. ) It was related to my quest for freedom as well, yes.

( ...she'd end up alone at the end of that road... )

I... ( ... ) Did you hear this from Argalia, perchance?

( there is only one person who would have had enough forethought about that, that isn't part of the group who knows already. )

( same difference, to her. stagnation and stasis, that she won't be able to see those she's come to care for or know their presence again - all that, for a girl like her? she might as well be dead indeed. she doesn't need to raise that particular thought, though, as it's swiftly addressed as soon as it crops up. that it bothers the librarians is also something else to consider, probably? she doesn't really know them as well, so.. )

I don't think twice about it if it's for the people I care about, or for myself.

( there's no delight, no enjoyment derived; it is simply something she must do. if it has to be between what's hers and others, is that choice not obvious? )

But I've also heard stories about a woman who went too far.

( hers, too, was a story of sacrificing others for something she desperately wished for. a love lost, and once upon a time she might've found the tale romantic if she hadn't met laudna and the rest of the hells.

the name uttered gives her pause, considering. it'd be easy to lie when it's her second nature, when it comes so naturally without even thinking most of the time, even if she has no particular reason to.

would he care? she doesn't really think so. she's not sure. )

He told me you weren't fond of him.

I don't tend to be fond of people who break into my home and then attempt to kill me, no.

( the reply is quick and dry, catching like tinder. angela breathes in--one, two--breathes out. it isn't like with the sephiroth--it isn't like it matters for her to know. it isn't like argalia knows for sure what her final choice was. she doesn't owe either of them answers, doesn't owe either of them the truth, doesn't...

but if they found out from someone else--? from something else--? she could handle whatever bullshit argalia would spew at her. angela watches fearne from the corner of her eye. she... )

If I did go too far, what then? If I did end up alone? Would it change your opinion of me, regardless of the story that came before it?

( ... another conversation to have, she supposes. things were so much easier when she didn't care either way. a sigh. )

I don't know.

( in truth, there's a great many things she's not sure if she knows how she's meant to feel. it's why they end up haphazardly in boxes, stowed away in the dark of some back closet of her mind. happier in blissful ignorance, but she's since learned what guilt and compassion means since stepping through that gate.

how far is too far? why would she be alone? why is this something she had to be put through and do? )

I don't know, Angela, and that scares me. That's why I'm here asking you for a story. I don't know what you've done or what's happened to you, but I want to believe that you didn't go somewhere you can't come back from.

( it was easier when she told herself she didn't care, when she said she wouldn't regret what awaited her, when she thought that she would burn the city down and herself with it no matter how much she wanted to live.

it was easier. it was. )

Then I should spare you the truth and tell you a wonderful story where everyone lives at the end instead. ( she loosens her grip on fearne's hand to tug away, wanting to put distance between-- this, them, this. ) I should give you a happily ever after, and assure you that everything is fine.

( but

she can't. she can't. she already made a promise to herself that she wouldn't lie to midnight, tell him a fairytale in the book about herself that she said she'd write for him. fearne, just as much as him, deserves her honesty.

for asking. for wanting to know.

even if it scares her. even if it never stops being terrifying, admitting to this. )

I can do that, ( she says quietly, voice quivering slightly, ) if you want that instead, Fearne.

( or she can tell her the truth. )

( but isn't that just a confession on its own? )

Then why? Who's everyone?

( the tug at her hand is what finally gets her to turn to face her, brows furrowed. torn as she might be, she's not about to force her hand where she might not want it, but she looks no less hurt that she would want to at all.

she wishes orym were here, selfish as that thought might be, putting him through all of this for the sake of a little bit of comfort. )

Why would it take all of that for you to be free? That doesn't seem fair.

( inbox )

first weekend of nov. | TEXT ♡ username: fearnie

username: librarian

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uugghh blanket spoiler warning for lobco and ruina hereforth.

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