...My librarians are lagging in the past, as far as memory is concerned. The closest to my own last remembered moments is Gebura, and even she isn't on the same page as me.
( after all, she's before all of that happens with roland, and... )
You can imagine it came as quite the surprise ( neg ) to them. The fact I regretted it only helps somewhat. Honestly, I'm surprised they want anything to do with me anymore... but that's only self-pitying. ( a small sigh. ) I'm tired of throwing fits and feeling bad for myself, so I need to stop thinking that type of thing, too.
( and yet
it's so easy, to fall back into that. being an unloved child has no perks, just a hole you have to climb out of every time you think you've escaped. )
I wonder why we have different memories—rather, why theirs are from an earlier point than mine. Is there a point to it? If we were meant to live happier lives, or cooperate, then it would've been better for all of us to have been taken from the same point of time, or at least had memories of the same time rather than being scattered all over the place.
no subject
( after all, she's before all of that happens with roland, and... )
You can imagine it came as quite the surprise ( neg ) to them. The fact I regretted it only helps somewhat. Honestly, I'm surprised they want anything to do with me anymore... but that's only self-pitying. ( a small sigh. ) I'm tired of throwing fits and feeling bad for myself, so I need to stop thinking that type of thing, too.
( and yet
it's so easy, to fall back into that. being an unloved child has no perks, just a hole you have to climb out of every time you think you've escaped. )
I wonder why we have different memories—rather, why theirs are from an earlier point than mine. Is there a point to it? If we were meant to live happier lives, or cooperate, then it would've been better for all of us to have been taken from the same point of time, or at least had memories of the same time rather than being scattered all over the place.