No, quite the opposite. I drank one that transformed me into a monster—it hurt quite a lot. I've undergone similar transformations, but... ( how does she put this? ) It isn't the same. Back in the Library, it would sometimes react to my feelings if they became too heightened, and they would cause me to distort—it took on the form of one of our Abnormalities, a creature that was exploited during the L Corp era where I was a mere AI assistant.

( hmm. that's a lot of words. anyway. )

Those never hurt to go through, not the way the tea did. My skin felt so itchy, and the feathers were... ( ........ ) Regardless, I dragged myself to the flowers so I could hide there, but they were the ones that'd say your secrets or innermost thoughts. Yesod, Gebura, and Netzach found me there.

( ... )

That's how they found out. They helped me, of course, but until Gebura fetched me from The Bookstore the day you and Don Quixote broke in, I hadn't spoken to her— and I hadn't spoken to either Yesod or Netzach until the performance reviews. ( because she's a coward. because she needed time, and they needed time, and it was difficult. ) That's also why I apologized for not minding what tea you had... If I had known you imbibed that one, I would've gotten the seeds quicker.