( see, the problem with knowing just how to read people - it's not something she can necessarily stop unless she looked away entirely. the steel surprises her, and the cold chills despite her predilection to fire. should she not have asked after all? should she simply have left it be?

again, that same budding temptation to lie. to sweeten words. soften them. to box up the coiling mass of uncertainty to brush it all aside. )

No - yes? I don't know! What was I supposed to do, send you a letter about it? That didn't seem -

( - enough? right? proper? she was hoping for denial. to spot convenient lies. she wasn't exactly equipped with the right tools to have conversations like these. )

.. Not entirely. I thought that we'd be able to talk it out somehow.

( ever the hopeful thing that she is. )